The UNCENSORED Quotes Page

DISCLAIMER!

The text on this page is an actual transcription of things I have overheard. It is presented as acurately as possible. It is meant purely for entertainment. It is my sincere hope that no offense will be taken be anyone. These thoughts were recorded to remind us of how special these times are and how lucky we are to be surrounded by such interesting and diverse people. I hope you all can smile and laugh at them, as we all did when they were first spoken.

He who laughs at himself, owns the greatest gift of all.

proverb
  1. "Singing and happiness are forbidden in this facility."
    Jim Clair

  2. If you loved me, youd send me a lasagna
    pete to an old friend as a failed alternative to collegetown

  3. You cant catch a pig
    petes dad

  4. I am talking about an ion beam, not a piece of junk
    boss on Micrion FIB system

  5. I think it is cool that one of these fans sucks and one of them blows
    breed on the new Dell pentium pros

  6. What is that thing, an air hockey table?
    meg hardie on optics bench

  7. It would be difficult to make this into a foosball table
    breed on optics bench

  8. If you want to burn somebodies ass, this is the tool
    yosi on 30A, 20 V HP power supply

  9. MEMS are not always fabricated using the scream process
    scott adams thesis

  10. some people in this group have the most sensitive asses
    john stimson on the chairs in the 120 and 122

  11. "Its a bird!"
    sara macdonald, when asked what MEMS was.

  12. Yang watches golf on TV, he's not chinese.
    breed on ethnicity

  13. Everything's a percussion instrument.
    breed on equipment in the CNF

  14. the boss has got some interesting ideas
    smiller on massively parallel arrays of 3 level, optical, fluidic MEMS with lateral and vertical nanometer tips for applications towards unrestricted funding

  15. Fred, have we ever made a device that wasnt a variable capacitor? Yeah we've made non moving devices.
    Pete and fred discussing wolfson's research

  16. What this world needs is a good five-dollar plasma weapon.
    one of those dumb log in things

  17. those things look a lot better in CAD
    fred on finished scream devices

  18. Boeing or Microsoft. He who controls seattle, controls the world.
    Breed on the metric system and world domination

  19. Ive picked up chicks in math classes. And physics classes.
    In fact Ive only picked up chicks in math and physics classes.
    Wow, Im a nerd.
    Breed on dating

  20. everything that has the letter F in it is mine
    fred on stuff

  21. R: what happens if you make a destructor private?
    F: you can only kill it by deleting yourself
    Russ and Fred while programming.

  22. "powerful concept"
    "dividing by a constant is a powerful concept"
    "even my brain is full"
    "interesting beast"
    "unfinished document"
    Kevin Shaw, Noise talk

  23. "well its linear"
    linear quadratic
    "this is a world record"
    "first time"
    first time anyone has made a linear voltage actuator
    Ali, after A-exam talk

  24. Do you ever do anything like that?
    "no"
    do you really care how fast your video card can do that?
    "yep, cause I gotta be faster than fatmac."
    stimpy and fred discussing the x speed check.

  25. Honey look! Our first MEMS.
    Breed on Kim and Scotts large collection of test video tapes

  26. He's got that cute baby face you just dont have
    Jessie on smiller and why he can use the copy machine and I cant

  27. No. Win95 is going to NT and taking everybody with it.
    Fred on the world going to NT.

  28. Hey! Nice butt!
    Jessie on some biker, who later turned out to be Fred.

  29. That Goddam Kevin.
    Boss, overheard while slamming shut the cover of Keving thesis draft

  30. does a whale yawn?
    jia on discussion of mamillian yawning

  31. if you cant walk barefoot on it, its probably a weed
    russ on grass in florida

  32. noel tells a good story
    rich tiberio on our mutual boss

  33. things are a lot easier to make look ugly than to make look good
    fred on writing HTML

  34. we gotta get that boy laid
    breed on stimpy and his current behavior

  35. its very dangerous to have some knowledge
    avi on mike wolfson on mentor graphics

  36. huge-ass wafers
    jessie on seeing 8" wafer carrier

  37. i get rug burns on my wrists!
    jessie on her new mouse pad

  38. Wow. That was worth a buck.
    Pete, after daring Fred to eat a fresh habenero pepper, raw. And seeing Fred's facial expression afterwards.
     No.
    Freds reply.

  39. "I never connected the names..."
    the boss on recognizing that Fred's dad was a physicist named Bertsch

  40. some people deal with hassles better than others
    russ

  41. fun doesnt suck
    unknown first floor phillips comment

  42. "Welcome to America Wolfgang!"
    Kevin to Wolfgang upon finding out that his shoes got thrown away in 115 PH

  43. "How long is your talk?"
    I can talk as long as you ...
    "I know that!"
    Boss and Kevin overheard at group meeting

  44. Ill have that for you on Monday
    Yang.

  45. Communication is good.
    Ali at group meeting.

  46. They aren't going to take these things with them when they leave, it's like leaving stuff at your mom's house.
    Boss staring at pile of old monitors that belong to Pete and Mike.

  47. So, we have one Stimpy. Do we have any Substimpies?
    Yang, trying to make dinner conversation.

  48. Thanks to Wolfgang Hoffman for being so "German".
    Kevin Shaw, in the acknowledgements in his thesis.

  49. Are we going to keep the box?
    Pete Hartwell, when asked where to keep the cordless phone packaging

  50. "I'm a little Stimpy
    Short and stout"
    Mike Ray, when Stimpy did a little Dinner Dance

Got a new quote? Send it to Pete.

Last Updated 1/21/98
Copyright 1998, P. Hartwell Visitors.