This is a story about a trip that didn't go well. Mark and I wanted to poke around in the Maze District area of Canyonlands National Park. Nobody on the net had done any rock climbing there, and, in fact, enough people told us that it was crazy to carry climbing gear instead of water that we thought it had to be a good idea. Sometimes, you can't go to the store to buy the guidebook--you have to actually haul the gear out and see for yourself.

Well, we did that. We biked out there in the middle of winter with a giant pile of biking, climbing, and camping gear. Near the end of the trip, I got seriously injured and we were forced to abandon almost all of the gear. Mark got hypothermia, I got dehydrated, we ran out of food, and Mark narrowly escaped frostbite.

We did, however, manage to rescue ourselves. Apparently, the park service was getting worried about us and was close to starting up their own rescue, but we didn't need it.

The story starts out pretty slowly, and, because some of my friends and family still haven't heard the whole story, I'm going to start with the boring stuff. At the very least, some of the photos are good. (Click on them to get a better photo.)

First, I'd like to thank some people who made our epic a bit more enjoyable:

• Gary Cox and all the other folk at the ranger station. We can't say they didn't warn us, and they certainly were nice to us when we found them.
• Poison Spider Bicycles. These guys are great. They gave us a great deal on the rental bike that Mark left in the Elaterite Basin. (They weren't going to charge us anything!) But even if you haven't just thrown out all your gear, they're still great. They don't charge you to mail a bike to them, they let you use some of their tools to put the bike together, they know what they're talking about, and they're just far cooler than the other bike stores in Moab.
• Brielle Rosa. She let us borrow her nalgene bottle and #4 Camalot. (Both of which are still soaking up UV in the desert!) Without that camalot, we wouldn't have owed her $80 at the end, and we wouldn't have had that extra weight to carry around. Seriously, now that we have no gear, we're going to use her rope and quickdraws. Next time we go on a crazy trip, we're taking her with us, too!
• Rebecca Gellert. She missed the whole thing. She was in Beijing. However, now that we're back and don't have any active gear, she's letting us borrow her cams. Now we can go on more crazy trips! Thanks!
• Pete Hartwell. Without Pete, no one back at my office would have been making jokes about us dying in Utah while I was gone. He also drove me to the airport, so I guess he's guilty of starting me out on this whole adventure.